The Next New Adventure

Here I am at a point in my life when my life should be changing, moving on to having adult children, being a grandmother (which is the best thing in life), and enjoying a little quieter, maybe even slower life.  I do still have two teenagers, but life is changing; just not in the way that I had expected it. 

Six months ago as I was substituting in a PE class at an Elementary school  I was sitting in the quiet cafeteria waiting for the next class to come in when I had a very strong impression.  I received the impression that our family should become a foster family.  Well, I've done this before.  We didn't foster exactly, but we adopted through the foster system, and we have taken in and then lost a child in the foster system, so I've done it.  I've played that game, I've gone through all of the hard and good parts of being a foster/adoptive parent.  I wouldn't trade my children for anything; I love each of them.  But I know for a fact how hard it is.  I know what it's like, I know that there are long days and longer nights. I know that these kids don't just outgrow the things that they went through in their life.  I know that they carry baggage with them, baggage that doesn't just go away, that lasts for years and years. Along with that I know the joy of watching them grow, or seeing them learn new things, of seeing them overcome the challenges that they have in their lives.  I know the excitement of watching them experience things for the first time, things that most other children have already experienced, but these kids haven't.  I know that full heart of that first real hug, when they finally accept the love that you have been offering them. I know the love that comes behind the words "I love you" when they are said for real that first time.

But I am older now, I am more tired now, I am more set in my ways.  So, how can I do this again.  Is it possible that I could once again bring small children with big problems into my home and life? Do I really have what it will take.  I questioned all of this and more for three months.  I didn't mention it to my husband or my family because I didn't really want their answer.  But everywhere that I turned there was something about foster care.  I knew that this is what I was supposed to do.  I finally got the nerve to mention it to my husband and family and theirs was a automatic "yes". No questions, no maybes, no "I'll think about it".  Just "Yes we want to do this".

So, began our quest for a foster license.  Of course things had to fall right into place.   The next 30 hour training just happened to begin that week.  We jumped into the training, and the miles and miles of paperwork. Wondering frequently what I am thinking; and facing some other challenges with a couple of my children that have left me weaker and stronger at the same time; we continued to forge through.  Tonight we have finished our last interview, turned in our last paper, and are on the road to becoming licensed.  My heart is full of nervousness, fear, and excitement for this new challenge in our lives.  I know without a doubt that this is what God wants us to do in our family right now.  I know that it will work out, that we will be able to be a blessing in the lives of children who need those blessings.  I know that it will be hard, that it will stretch me; maybe even as far as I can stretch; but I know that not only will we be able to bless some children, but that we will be blessed by them.

Memories

Driving through the west side of Arizona always brings lots of memories of growing up there. We spent so much time out in the desert. Picnics. Dutch ovens. Motorcycle rides. Dune buggy rides. Hours were spent as a kid playing in the desert. We had our own private playground. The washes were the  roads. Bushes and trees became our homes and stores. After Christmas was over and the tree was taken down it became a tree in our desert house. We decorated it with pieces of glass we found in the desert. So much fun was had there. Most of the fun was had when the cousins came to visit. That is when the desert town came to life. Fun was had and memories were made.

Family Vacation

Right now we are on our family vacation. On our way to California. Every year we take a family trip. We have only missed a few years in the past 29 years. We have taken many different trips. Some longer than others. Some road trips. Some to visit family. Some with family. All with different memories but all with wonderful memories. This does not mean they are all rainbows. There are the fights in the car. The tired and hungry kids. Car sickness. Flat tires. Broken down car. Air conditioning going out. Heater broke down on a winter trip to Montana. But despite the troubles and the work of preparing for a family trip with kids it is all so very worth it. There is something about seeing your kids connect with each other when they are away from their friends and other distractions. Listening to them talk about their memories afterward. Having time as a family just having fun without the distractions of every day life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Sure we could use the money to recarpet my bedroom, paint my house, or remodel my kitchen or bathroom. But before I turn around my kids will be grown and gone and the chance will be gone.I would much rather have memories than a beautiful home. So off we go to try camping on the beach in California. To build memories in the sand. To laugh and maybe even cry. To love and grow together.

THANKSGIVING!

As I sit here in the quiet of Thanksgiving morning I sit reflecting on all of the things that I am grateful for.  I haven't done the Facebook thing where you write something you are grateful for each day, not because I am not grateful, I just don't always have time to stop and write. So, here I am now to tell a few of the things I am grateful for, as if I were to list them all it would take me all day -

 - A husband who loves me no matter what, who supports me in all I do and who is my best friend.
- My children - those grown and away from home and those at home.  Those born to me, those who came to our family, and those married into our family.
- Family - ALL of my family - near and far, on my side and my husbands side.
- The Gospel of Jesus Christ - I don't know what I would do without my knowledge of my Savior and Eternal Families.
- The temple - a place of peace in this crazy world we live in.
- The Scriptures - a place I can go for peace and answers every day.
- Laughter - every day needs a little.
- A warm home - I have come to realize lately that is not something that everyone has.
- Food to eat - Another thing I have come to realize that  I shouldn't take for granted.
- A job that I enjoy - I am so glad that I get to work with children every day, they are loving and forgiving no matter what you do.
- Friends - Both long distance and up close, from long ago and new ones.
- Holidays - and the chance it gives us to take a break from the rush of life and spend time with family.
- The beauty of the world -
- Birds - I love looking outside my window and seeing the birds - it brightens my day.
- Technology - and the chance it gives me to keep in touch with family and friends.
- Music - it touches my soul
- My health - it hasn't always been the best, but I am grateful I have the health to be active and do things.
- Missionaries - so grateful that I have children willing to serve missions and for the blessing that it is in their life.
- A warm fire and warm quilts on a cold day

This is just a short list of all I am grateful for.  I have a wonderful life, struggles and all. And am very grateful for the life that I have been given, and the knowledge that my Heavenly Father has a plan for me.  It may be a crazy ride, but I am grateful that I have the opportunity to take a ride on this roller-coaster life.

Happy Birthday Mom!!

Well, I haven't a lot of words today. But I wanted to do something today to honor my amazing Mom.  She is greatly missed, and today more than usual since it is her birthday.  As I thought of all of the things that I have learned from her I wanted to make a subway art with some of the things that I have learned from her.  These are only a small amount of all the things she taught me, and I feel very blessed to be her daughter.

Inspiration

So, this morning I was having a discussion with my son.  We were talking about how Laman and Lemuel in the Book of Mormon murmured so much.  About how some of the rebelling that they did was just complaining, they complained and yet they still followed their father.  They did not want to do it, they were not happy about it, but they still did it.  This discussion came after a tough Monday morning - after complaints from one daughter that she had no pants to wear (because of course she only likes two pairs and being the mean mom that I am I make my kids do their own laundry on one particular day of the week and both pairs had already been worn and her laundry day is not until Wednesday), complaints from the same daughter that she would be late for school because I was making her do her chores (which of course was my fault because I am so mean to make my children work in the morning); complaints from another daughter that her laptop won't charge (they have school provided laptops, that is after we pay a hefty insurance fee; and the school is responsible for the upkeep), and complaints that she did not have her homework done (which of course is also my fault even though I asked her on Friday and Saturday if her homework was done and she said it was; we have a rule of no homework on Sunday unless absolutely necessary - I don't want to spend my Sunday checking homework - so not doing it because you don't want to on Friday or Saturday is not a necessity on Sunday).  I get very frustrated with my kids when they complain and use me for their punching bag, things are always my fault and that really bothers me.  As I talked to my son I received inspiration to know that though my girls do complain (they are typical teenage girls) I am so blessed that they still do the things they need to do.  They may be mad about it, they may refuse to talk to me because they are mad, they may not even do the best job they can, but they still do it.  That in itself is a great blessing, and considering our past and how far my children have come; the fact that they do the things they need to do despite how they feel about it is a great accomplishment.  One that I need to notice and appreciate.

Changes

For the past 6 weeks I have had lots of people ask me if it was hard having two of my children off on missions at the same time, and especially having one go to Argentina.  I have been able to answer that it is hard, but not too bad.  Because it wasn't.  I was glad to have them both out on their missions that it seemed to overpower the fact that they are gone.  I know where they are, I know that they are protected, and I am grateful that they have testimonies that they want to share.  I know what a great experience it will be for them, and how much they will grow.  If you would have asked me two years ago if they would both serve missions I would have said I didn't think so.  So much has happened in the past two years and they have already grown so much.  Especially Jesse, his life has become a completely different life and I am so proud of the young man he has grown into.  So, having them both out has been a blessing, and though I do miss them very much it hasn't been hard.

Then today we got the email from Jesse saying that he will be heading to Argentina on Monday and suddenly it seemed hard.  Suddenly it wasn't so easy anymore.  I know that he will be doing the Lord's work.  I know that he will be blessed, and that he is going where he is supposed to go.  He is so excited to leave.  But I thought we had a couple of months in the USA where he would be working and waiting for his Visa.  I wasn't completely prepared for him to leave yet.  Even though I will still get emails from him once a week, it just seems so far away.  It will all be good, I am just a little sadder today knowing that he will so far away.  But I am so happy he will be serving and can't wait to hear how much he grows every week.