The Next New Adventure

Here I am at a point in my life when my life should be changing, moving on to having adult children, being a grandmother (which is the best thing in life), and enjoying a little quieter, maybe even slower life.  I do still have two teenagers, but life is changing; just not in the way that I had expected it. 

Six months ago as I was substituting in a PE class at an Elementary school  I was sitting in the quiet cafeteria waiting for the next class to come in when I had a very strong impression.  I received the impression that our family should become a foster family.  Well, I've done this before.  We didn't foster exactly, but we adopted through the foster system, and we have taken in and then lost a child in the foster system, so I've done it.  I've played that game, I've gone through all of the hard and good parts of being a foster/adoptive parent.  I wouldn't trade my children for anything; I love each of them.  But I know for a fact how hard it is.  I know what it's like, I know that there are long days and longer nights. I know that these kids don't just outgrow the things that they went through in their life.  I know that they carry baggage with them, baggage that doesn't just go away, that lasts for years and years. Along with that I know the joy of watching them grow, or seeing them learn new things, of seeing them overcome the challenges that they have in their lives.  I know the excitement of watching them experience things for the first time, things that most other children have already experienced, but these kids haven't.  I know that full heart of that first real hug, when they finally accept the love that you have been offering them. I know the love that comes behind the words "I love you" when they are said for real that first time.

But I am older now, I am more tired now, I am more set in my ways.  So, how can I do this again.  Is it possible that I could once again bring small children with big problems into my home and life? Do I really have what it will take.  I questioned all of this and more for three months.  I didn't mention it to my husband or my family because I didn't really want their answer.  But everywhere that I turned there was something about foster care.  I knew that this is what I was supposed to do.  I finally got the nerve to mention it to my husband and family and theirs was a automatic "yes". No questions, no maybes, no "I'll think about it".  Just "Yes we want to do this".

So, began our quest for a foster license.  Of course things had to fall right into place.   The next 30 hour training just happened to begin that week.  We jumped into the training, and the miles and miles of paperwork. Wondering frequently what I am thinking; and facing some other challenges with a couple of my children that have left me weaker and stronger at the same time; we continued to forge through.  Tonight we have finished our last interview, turned in our last paper, and are on the road to becoming licensed.  My heart is full of nervousness, fear, and excitement for this new challenge in our lives.  I know without a doubt that this is what God wants us to do in our family right now.  I know that it will work out, that we will be able to be a blessing in the lives of children who need those blessings.  I know that it will be hard, that it will stretch me; maybe even as far as I can stretch; but I know that not only will we be able to bless some children, but that we will be blessed by them.