The Letter I Would Like To Have Written

To My Oldest Son -
One year, what a long time, so many things have happened, and you have grown so much. One year ago today as we said our good-byes in the airport I could see the pain, the uncertainty, the nervousness in your eyes. I knew what a hard thing it was. You were so strong, acting like all was okay, not a big deal, you were just leaving for awhile. As you said your goodbyes to each of your siblings I could see how hard it was, especially as you held on to your little Min. I tried to be strong for you, I didn't want you to see me cry. I didn't want that to be the last thing you remember. So, I held it all in until you were safely through the gates on your way to the airplane. We stayed in the lobby, watching the passengers load on, looking for you, waiting as long as possible. As we saw you walk down the long passageway to your airplane I felt that a part of me was gone. I knew and still know that you are doing the right thing, but who ever knew that it would hurt so much. You have grown so much over the past year, I see it in your letters, I hear it in the video clips you send home, and in your twice a year phone calls. I can't wait to take you in my arms, to sit and listen to your stories, to just sit and talk like we used to. I look at the coming year and wonder what it will bring. Hopefully more good things, although I know there will be more "growing" experiences along the way. I pray every day that I have taught you what you need to know, that you will have the strength when things get hard. I have watched you make it through some pretty tough times this last year, and have been amazed at how well you have handled everything. I realize that you have grown into a man - that my little boy is gone, and in his place is a man that I am very proud to call my son. Another year - we'll make it. It will go by fast as we keep busy with life, and as you keep busy with your missionary work. And then you will be here, returning to our lives. Back to tease and make us laugh, to keep me up late at night talking, and to move on to the next phase in your life. So, my son, know that I love you and miss you more than you will ever know. Here we go - on to another year.